Between 1985 and 1995 I lost much that was dear to me: the closest of my friends, my family, my lover, and my business. Crushed by mortification and grief, and further debilitated by a series of manic-depressive breakdowns, I turned to heroin to numb my pain, but my suffering was only increased by physical dependence on the drug and the additional loss of my home and possessions, including all the artifacts of my life until that time. For six years I wandered the mean streets of San Francisco and found out exactly how low I could sink. When all my self-conceptions had imploded and it seemed I had nothing more to lose, I looked in Death’s face and realized the most valuable possession of all is life.
The title Up From The Deep is an adaptation of De Profundis, “Up from the depths (of misery),” the incipit of the 130th Psalm and the title of numerous musical settings and works of literature that include a letter by Oscar Wilde, written while he was imprisoned.
Suffering is one very long moment. We cannot divide it by seasons. [...] For us there is only one season, the season of sorrow. [...] Where there is sorrow there is holy ground. Some day people will realize what that means. They will know nothing of life till they do.
–Oscar Wilde
De Profundis, 1895
Copyright © 2010, Mark Ellinger
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Mark,
I caught you at the Cadillac a couple of weeks ago. Thank you for an excellent presentation, and for paying attention to so many things that are subtly ignored into near invisibility. Just now took the opportunity to look at your website, and must thank you again for the focus of your work and for your amazing eye. Your perspective is essential and your gift is formidable. I agree with Susan’s comment and applaud your survival. I see that your technical obstacles persist. I hope things resolve themselves quickly, as I look forward to staying tuned for more of your lovely work. All the best to you. Bob
Thanks very much, Robert. Glad you enjoyed the presentation.
Thanks, too, for your kind wishes; although at this time I can’t say when I’ll be able to resolve my technical problems.
Mark