Preface
Between 1985 and 1995 I lost most all that was dear to me: friends, family, business, home, and possessions. Crushed by mortification and grief, I turned to heroin to numb my pain, but my suffering was only increased by physical dependence on the drug. For six years I wandered the mean streets of San Francisco as a homeless junkie. Prolonged suffering imploded my self-conceptions and taught me humility, and this was the base from which I ultimately reconstructed my life when, at the age of fifty-one, I found myself starting over again from scratch.
The title Up from the Deep is an adaptation of De Profundis, “Up from the depths (of misery),” the incipit of the 130th Psalm and the title of numerous musical settings and works of literature that include a letter by Oscar Wilde, written while he was imprisoned.
Suffering is one very long moment. We cannot divide it by seasons. [...] For us there is only one season, the season of sorrow. [...] Where there is sorrow there is holy ground. Some day people will realize what that means. They will know nothing of life till they do.
–Oscar Wilde
De Profundis, 1895
Copyright © 2010, Mark Ellinger
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